The economy is still showing no signs of improvement.  Proof of this fact appeared today when Keebler announced they are closing their famous cookie-making tree factory, laying off the seven elves employed there and moving the cooking-making process overseas to Thailand, where they already have a production plant open.

“This is bullshit!  They fired us because we cost too much, no other reason!” said Ernest J. Keebler, the iconic leader of the factory and local rep for the Animated Factory Workers Union.  ”Sure we’re celebrity chefs with six-figure salaries.  But we’ve been making cookies that make people smile for years!  You can’t put a dollar figure on that!  There’s no loyalty to good employees anymore!  Those money-hungry bastards!”

The famous tree factory, seen for years on the cover of cookie packaging, is being sold to Starbucks who will turn it into their 1,495,076th store, located in the middle of absolutely nowhere.  The new store, complete with meeting rooms and free wifi, will be open by March 2011.

Outraged by this news, Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) will hold a town hall meeting tomorrow at 7pm to discuss the impact this unfortunate situation has on depressed single people who sit in front of their TVs at home on Friday nights watching reruns of George Lopez on Nick at Nite while scarfing down a batch of cookies with a tall glass of cold milk.

BUT when one door closes, another one opens.  One elf, who wished to remain anonymous, stated that the cast of characters are in talks with the Food Network to compete in a new reality cooking show based on fellow celebrity cartoons making delicious, fattening goodies.  Leaks from inside the network are saying that members of the Smurfs are also in negotiations to join the cast of this new show.