Last night was the 69th annual Golden Globe Awards. I haven’t seen 90% of the movies and shows that were up for awards. So I pretty much just watched to make fun of something. If you missed my “live commentary” of the event on Twitter, here’s some of what ya missed…
It takes 7 people to create the #GoldenGlobes seating chart. And you thought creating the seating chart for your wedding was a bitch!
The two woman with Morgan Freeman are just happy to have a new Facebook profile photo better than their friends. #GoldenGlobes
For the record, tonight *I* am wearing Gap and Target. Took 2 minutes to get ready. #Fashion #goldenglobes
FACT: If the economy gets any worse, the Golden Globes will be moved from the Hilton to the neighboring Motel 6 parking lot. #GoldenGlobes
I would love to go out to eat with Johnny Depp and hear him order dinner with that voice and creep the shit out of the waiter. #GoldenGlobes
FACT: The value of the bottles of wine and champagne you see on those tables are more than what you make a year. #GoldenGlobes
FUN FACT: During commercials, celebrities run back to the buffet to get a second plate before the carving station closes. #GoldenGlobes
Am I the only one that thinks “I’ve saw her boobs in Titanic in 8th grade!” every time I seen Kate Winslet? #GoldenGlobes
That loud noise you just heard was women across America screaming when Adam Levine appeared on their TV. #GoldenGlobes #iWishIHadHisHair
“I’m not French, but I DO have a killer fake British accent when I’m in London to pretend I’m not really American!” – Madonna #GoldenGlobes
The BBC is killing it tonight. The UK’s TV License Fee being put to good use in America! Brilliant! #GoldenGlobes
Hi I’m Brad Pitt and I need to stop by a Best Cuts $7.95 haircut special soon. #goldenglobes
“Hi I’m Nicole Kidman and I used to f*ck Tom Cruise before he went nuts.” #GoldenGlobes
blah blah great group of actors blah blah great crew blah blah thank you writers blah blah I’m still better than all of you. #GoldenGlobes
HOT WOMAN TALKING IN SPANISH ON TV!! HOT WOMAN TALKING IN SPANISH ON TV!! HOT WOMAN TALKING IN SPANISH ON TV!! #GOLDENGLOBES