But I’m a good sport.

You see, the last time Michigan beat Ohio State in The Game was in 2003.  Facebook and Twitter were not even around yet.  So for the last few years, us Buckeye fans have had the pleasure of gloating and bragging about winning The Game.

Since this is Michigan’s first time having bragging rights on the social networks (and the last time they did it was on MySpace), I thought I’d teach them how to do it, step-by-step.

This year, I took to Twitter to show people what it’s like behind the scenes to find the Official Winter Hat.  Here is how it went down…

Option A:  The Hillbilly Hat.
Hey, I’m from Ohio.  I may have spent my childhood in the suburbs, but I’ve visited farm land before.

 Option B:  The Hillbilly Hat Part 2.
This would have worked, but unfortunately I have not perfected my Elmer Fudd impersonation yet to make this work.

 Option C:  ANIMAAAAAAAAALLLL!
’nuff said.

Option D:  Kermit
Surprisingly, this was the option people were pulling for the most.  Many people were #TeamKermit.  Either a. People have no sense of fashion.  or b. They never want me to date ever again.

Option E:  Basic, yet hot.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE OFFICIAL MATT HAZE 2011-2012 WINTER SEASON HAT!

Since I put this out to the world last week, the one question I’ve been asked most is “Did you buy the Kermit hat???”  I plead the fifth.  And please don’t look in my closet.

]]> http://www.matthaze.com/2011/10/11/bizarre-observation-9-worst-decisions/feed/ 0 http://www.matthaze.com/2011/10/11/matt-hazes-words-of-wisdom/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=matt-hazes-words-of-wisdom http://www.matthaze.com/2011/10/11/matt-hazes-words-of-wisdom/#comments Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:17:37 +0000 matthaze http://www.matthaze.com/?p=1096 Since putting a quote on someone’s photo is the new cool thing to do online, I thought I’d add my words of wisdom…

]]> http://www.matthaze.com/2011/10/10/bizarre-observation-8-classy-fashion/feed/ 0 http://www.matthaze.com/2011/09/27/bizarre-observation-6-the-perfect-man/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=bizarre-observation-6-the-perfect-man http://www.matthaze.com/2011/09/27/bizarre-observation-6-the-perfect-man/#comments Tue, 27 Sep 2011 14:12:17 +0000 matthaze http://www.matthaze.com/?p=1060

Ladies, no need to worry about him meeting your family for the first time.  He’s already taken that big first step!  And made a big first impression!  Can we say keeper?!

]]> http://www.matthaze.com/2011/09/27/bizarre-observation-6-the-perfect-man/feed/ 0 http://www.matthaze.com/2011/08/05/an-open-letter-from-the-united-states-to-the-rest-of-the-world/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=an-open-letter-from-the-united-states-to-the-rest-of-the-world http://www.matthaze.com/2011/08/05/an-open-letter-from-the-united-states-to-the-rest-of-the-world/#comments Fri, 05 Aug 2011 16:46:47 +0000 matthaze http://www.matthaze.com/?p=1012 Dear World:

We’re very sorry for fucking up the whole planet’s economy.

We’ll try to better next time.

Oh, soccer still sucks and we’re still better than you.

Love,
America

Just part of Walmart's new Wedding DVD section

After seeing respectable sales numbers for DVDs of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Royal Wedding, international retailer Walmart has decided to start selling other wedding DVDs, including those of “common folk” in their new Wedding DVD section.

Erin Healy, a recently married woman in Zanesville, Ohio is thrilled that a retrospective DVD of their reception, held in the basement of a local VFW hall, is the first addition to this new selection.  ”I can’t believe our special day can now be shared by so many!  Ohmigod, you will DIE when you see my Uncle Ralph attempt to dance to the Thriller song!”

Walmart also plans to release a DVD of Jessica & Robert Feldman’s elaborate $471,000 wedding and reception that took place in New York City last summer.  The high-priced affair has been praised by critics as “a fairytale wedding on a New York City budget.”  The event included a horse carriage ride through Central Park as well as a special sing along of “Sweet Caroline” conducted by the bride’s very drunk father half way through the night.

Not everyone is happy about this new section, though.  Concerned husbands have stated that say they are already forced by their newly minted brides to watch the video of their OWN wedding once a month.  The last thing they want to see is someone else’s elaborate event.

Expect to see the new Wedding DVD section to be rolled out nationwide over the next 60 days.