Sports Illustrated is now expanding its investigation of coaches and organizations for improper deals and gifts to teams outside of college sports.
This week, SI will report that a U12 Boys Little League Team in South Bend, Indiana named the “Jimbo’s Auto Repair White Sox” did not properly disclose to the league that they received complimentary dipped vanilla cones from the local Dairy Queen for, what the store manager called, “a good job on the field.”
South Bend Little League spokesperson Darryl Wallace was surprised by the story, but also was glad that the news got out. “I’ve known their coach Jim Bryan since 8th grade math class. He’s always been a little shady. I first noticed it when he stole my girl during the Valentine’s Day mixer. Getting free ice cream for the kids without proper disclosure is just the tip of the iceberg of what this guy has done.”
“I wasn’t aware that a little league team had to disclose when the kids get free ice cream. I think it was a nice gesture by the Dairy Queen to do that and it in no way implies some sort of payment to make them professionals,” said Coach Jim Bryan on the accusations that he did not follow proper league protocol when members of the team received special treatment. “I have to sign a damn form for ice cream?? REALLY?!”
A Sports Illustrated staff member, who wishes to remain anonymous, told MattHaze.com that they will continue to go after teams, coaches and players that have to deal with unrealistic rules in today’s sports environment. “We’re S.I. We are the leader and all-knowing almighty of sports. This witch-hunt will continue until our yearly sales numbers have been met. Then we’ll get back to harassing Tiger Woods.”