CULTURE

My Facebook “it’s my content!” legal bull$%&# post is a bit different than the rest…

Oh.

I thought it was over.

The basics are back to doing that again, huh?

The ‘ol “ohmigod Facebook is changing something I don’t understand so let’s copy and paste some legal jargon into a status to fix that!” thing is back again.

Oy.

We ALL have a Facebook friend gullible enough to fall for that.  Or, if you’re like me, not many anymore because you instantly unfriend them after they hit POST on it.

Posting that in a status is the same thing as looking at your other half and yelling “I divorce thee!” three times, hoping that will magically end everything and save you from coughing up half of your savings.

It. Just. Doesn’t. Work.

[and divorce attorneys are happy about the example mentioned because their boat payments don’t make themselves, but I digress…]

Plus, let’s be honest… no one actually wants the majority of the stuff you posted.  That photo of you half wasted wearing a Happy New Year hat with a party favor in your hand?  Yeah.  Not so original.  No one actually wants it.

So to make a point, I made my OWN Facebook privacy legal crap.  Because, well, I’m me.

Screen Shot 2015-01-06 at 11.14.13 AM

“In response to the new Facebook guidelines, I herby declare that I’m not a moron and will not copy and paste some legal jargon I didn’t read from someone else’s wall that I think will protect my photos of my dinner at Applebee’s and the temperature gauge showing how cold it is outside and how I’m pissed off about it even though I live in the north, from being used by other people because somehow I think someone would actually do that, even though it’s just like everyone else’s lame content that no one actually gives a shit about but hey I posted it AND IT’S MINE ALL MINE YOU CAN’T HAVE IT, MYSTERIOUS FACEBOOK GODS! THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD AND IT IS YEEZUS BOW DOWN TO THE ALTAR OF KARDASHIANS. ‪#‎basic‬” 

Boom.

Take THAT, wannabe lawyers.

HASHTAG BASIC.