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Live Tweetin’ the CNN Republican Debate

Hi.  My name is Matt and I watch the debates so you don’t have to.  If you missed my analysis and “translation” of what the Republican candidates were saying last night, here’s a few of the tweets you missed…

As a long time choir boy, I want the candidates mic’ed when they sing the National Anthem. Proper diction gets you 10 points. #CNNdebate

King: “For our one minute responses, we will use this banana kitchen timer we picked up at the dollar store to support the local community.”

And at 8:10pm ET, the CNN Republican Debate has officially become a WWE-sanctioned main event. DING! DING! DING! #CNNdebate

Did you know: When you see Rick Santorum writing, he’s actually finish today’s @nytimes Crossword Puzzle. #CNNdebate

Romney: “I’m not sure how to get the economy back on track, but I have the best damn tie on stage tonight. Damn I look good.” #CNNdebate

Romney: “Capitalism works. Don’t believe me? I have a PO Box in the Cayman Islands full of proof! Shit, did I say that outloud?” #CNNdebate

Santorum: “Sure, Mitt Romney has a better tie tonight. But don’t judge me just because my tie looks like the lining of a picnic basket.”

Gingrich: “Did you hear that Heacliff Huxtabule?? Elect me and Theo will FINALLY move out!!” #CosbyShowFTW #CNNdebate

Santorum: “Footsie is the only game my wife and I play in bed.” #CNNdebate

Santorum to Romney: “I don’t want to be governor, but that IS 4 down on this crossword I’m working on, thank you!” #CNNdebate

CNN: “And now as we go to break, here is a shot of 3 tweets you sent to pretend we actually give a crap about you.” #CNNdebate

Romney: “I will release my tax records, but all you need to know is yes, I CAN large size my value meal at McDonalds.” #CNNdebate

King: “Oh shut it with the boos! Gingrich already ripped me a new one tonight!!” #CNNdebate

Did you know: During commercial breaks, beer guys from local ball parks roam the aisles. #CNNdebate

Romney: “My killer tie cost more than your car.” #CNNdebate

Santorum: “Honestly, I don’t know how the hell I’m still in this, either.” #CNNdebate

Paul: “To tackle illegal immigration, I would end the INS and hand things over to a secret organization called the Men in Black. #CNNdebate

Romney: “I wrote a book. Yes, I am plugging things more than Ricky Gervais at an awards show.” #CNNdebate

Jimmy Kimmel is to Matt Damon as John King is to Ron Paul. #WeAreOutOfTime #CNNdebate