laugh. think. act. ← From comedian & thinker Matt Haze

My Rejected Citizenship Questions

Feb

2013

As part of Social Media Week in New York, the hashtag #RejectedCitizenshipQuestions was floating around the Twitterverse. So, I took part because, well, what else is there to do? Below is MY made up citizenship test. And a big thank you to Nicole Nesbitt to told me to write a question Which turned into 18. Enjoy. THE ...

Valentine’s Day Hot Corporate Merger-Style: A love playlist for the American/US Airways merger

Feb

2013

Could the new love birds have picked a better day to announce their new planned corporate love and affection for each other??? On Valentine’s Day, American Airlines and US Airways have changed their Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” with plans to be “Married” once the U.S. Department of Justice approve of the couple. ...

What woman wouldn’t want to date a handsome, funny, charming man who lives within a 5 minute drive of a Target?: The Follow-Up on my New York magazine article

Feb

2013

Last week, millions of readers across the world had the opportunity to judge me and my OKCupid account in New York magazine. I mean, can you ask for anything more fun to do when you’re bored than judge someone else’s dating profile?? (Yes, that was rhetorical.) Honestly, when I agreed to be part of this project, ...

I’m not watching the Grammys because they won’t let me buy music I want. AND I HAVE MONEY TO GIVE THEM.

Feb

2013

Tonight is “music’s biggest night!” The 55th annual Grammy Awards. *mumbles* That’s nice. It’s normally a tradition that I watch the award show and live tweet snarky commentary of the show as it happens. A a recovering former radio DJ, it was a fun little thing for me to do. But tonight, I will not ...

The End of 30RockTree… for now

Jan

2013

Hello #TreeStalkers. I, the human version of the sassy spruce, have a few words I’d like to say to you… (if the video does not appear, click here to watch it on YouTube) You can read the tree’s farewell message here.

My New Year Resolutions Make your New Year Resolutions Look Like Child’s Play

Jan

2013

“They” say if you put what you want to do out there to the universe, things will happen. I am using this line as an excuse to post my serious and not-so-serious new year resolutions to my blog because, well, I needed content for today. SO. I, Matthew [middle name censored] Haze, do hearby solemnly resolve to… ...

The amount of the federal budget Congress has fixed in coffee terms…

Dec

2012

President Obama and Congress are currently in the middle of preventing America from taking a ride on the Fiscal Cliff, the new man-made, preventable thrill ride all 300+ million of us Americans might be, um, “enjoying” if they don’t sit down, grow up and act like adults. So far, the numbers coming out of the negotiations ...

EXCLUSIVE: Romney’s concession text to Obama

Nov

2012

It’s 2012. Texting is the most popular form of communication. So it’s completely understandable that in today’s new media age, Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney decided to text his concession to President Obama instead of calling it. MattHaze.com was able to get an EXCLUSIVE SCREENSHOT of the concession text:

Real estate marketing fail – Bizarre Observation #38

Sep

2012

Kids, this is why real estate agents should never put up signs with their mugs on it.