Kids, this is why real estate agents should never put up signs with their mugs on it.
I have not been tweeting about the Republican convention this week. Same goes with the Democrat’s upcoming convention as well. Why? Take a look in my new video.
They know what makes you beautiful. And ladies, they have big muskets and know how to use them.
Yesterday while I was doing some writing at Starbucks, two girls sat next to me gossiping away about their love lives and school over some lattes. During a one minute period of the two talking, I counted how many times the word “like” was said. The total: 24 times. Twenty. Four. Times. That is a “like” every 2.5 seconds. Thank God it was not a drinking game. Here is me moments after the adjudication of the event with the professional tally scoring system I used. And a quite annoyed judge. Read a book, girls. Please. For your own sake. And my own sanity.
So starting this week, I’ll be sending out a brand new (currently unnamed) Matt Haze newsletter once a week via email! What should you expect in this weekly entry into your inbox? Well… you’ll find fun stuff I discovered during quality time wasting on the internet, you’ll see things I’ve written that you may have missed and really yummy pudding recipes. Much of the goodness will be exclusive to newsletter friends only! (translation: YOU WILL BE SPECIAL) If you like what I write here or on Facebook and Twitter, then sign up today and I promise to love you forever and ever (amen). CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP. <— there.…